THE CHANGING GENDER ROLES: LIFE IS DYNAMIC

 

Admiring the Artwork  at Nike Art Gallery, Lagos, Nigeria, 2019

Yesterday, while sweeping my kitchen, a light bulb moment occurred. I have not touched a broom in over six months. Although, my kitchen is always spic and span. Someone else does the cleaning. As I sweep, I can hear my grandmother's voice in my head. Reprimanding me for not bending lower with the traditional Nigerian short-handle broom in order to do a better job. And constantly reminding me I was a girl. 

As girls, we were always reminded of our gender, like we'd ever forget. And woe be tide you, if you are a first-born daughter!  the culture puts us in our place. A place of service to everyone but ourselves. Fortunately, the broom I now use is a long-handle broom, unlike the brooms we used back when I was a child in Nigeria.

Growing up as a girl there were many things you were taught and mandated to do. Because of the society/culture assigned roles.

 I started cooking at the age of 10 and could clean a house better than my present cleaning lady. If you did not do a good job of these house chores, you were threatened with the "punishment" of not being able to find a husband. (Yeah, little girls like me and many in the community were always reminded that our purpose in life was to find a husband. Sad, sad, sad).

 The culture was to groom/train you to aspire to find a husband. I wish my "Mama Ukwu" (grandmother) could see me now. I pay for my home to be cleaned. And I don't care for a husband!

What if society got it all wrong. Take a look at our our modern world. Gender roles are not supposed to be stagnant, but in constant evolution . Life is dynamic, and so should everything.  What worked in my grandmother's era cannot work now. Why? My grandmother was barely literate, and technically did not go out to work. Although she worked the land. But I am an over-educated city woman  And so are many of my peers. So, why do we still have to play the roles our mothers and grandmothers did.

I think common sense would dictate that roles in the 21st century should be based on who is better at a given role. Some men are better and enjoy cooking than women. And some women are better financial planners, higher achievers, and earners than men.

 Let roles be based on merit rather than tradition. This will make our society stronger and better. A team effort based solely on abilities. Where we each do what we enjoy and are good at. That's what the world needs.

I may over-flog the issue of cooking because I do not enjoy it. I cook because I have to eat and feed my child. Traditionally, in many African homes, especially in Nigeria, boys/men are literally forbidden to cook. Cooking should be seen as part of acquiring a life survival skill. 

My opinion is that all genders should be seen as equal, and hence not treated differently. There should be no mandated roles. Roles should be based on merit. Who is better at something.

The only constant in life is change. And our world is changing every day. So, play the role that best suits you, and dear African families, teach your boys/sons to cook and clean the house like you teach their sisters. This is 2023, and humans should accept that we are all equal, but have different abilities. All genders should treat each other with respect. No gender is superior to the other, like many Nigerian men think.