A WILD NIGHT AND A MIGRANT'S STORY

 

Migrants crossing the mediterranean sea

Have you had one of those nights when sleep evades you, no matter what you do? Yeah, I know you have. We all do from time to time. Nothing seems to bring the zzzs, I tried everything but count sheep. I read to myself, listened to music, and took a shower, but no dice. Got hungry at 1.00 am, my healthy half begged me not to eat so late, or maybe correctly too early in the morning. But the cravings won't stop, and the compulsive need to feed my sleepless body.

So, I invaded the kitchen and ate a handful of olives. Big mistake, the cravings multiplied. Determined not to snack on anything unhealthy, I ate two apples. Still, sleep slithered away beyond my reach.
Fcuk it, I muttered and watched my videos on youtube. Can you imagine how bored, and antsy you have to be to watch your own videos...sigh? I am one of those people who does not like to dwell on anything I do. I struggle to read my own writing, and unfortunately for me, as a writer, it is mandatory to read and edit your writing.

By the time it was 2.30 am, still up, and in no mood to write, read, or do pretty much anything, but a longing to go for a walk. Who goes for a walk at 2.30 in the morning? Although my neighborhood is safe, I did not want to tempt Lucifer and his disciples. If only I was a drinker, I'd probably have temporarily taken up drinking just for one night.

Since sleep would not come, I settled for a sleepless night.
So, what was the root cause of my inability to find the zzzs, I usually have no trouble sleeping. Earlier in the afternoon, a young lady narrated her harrowing journey through the Sahara desert to Europe. The story was so detailed, that I  literally took every step with her. Her narration was interspersed with minutes when she broke down and wept. As she relived the horrors. Although this happened more than a decade ago, the trauma is still fresh. 

Unfortunately, she has not received any form of therapy. Something that is common in our community, we fail to realize the importance of therapy after traumatic events in our lives. We have been conditioned to believe Africans are too mentally strong to crack. But this is a myth, we only just masquerade it with other things. For instance, she confesses, that she cannot stop working, because, she fears having a lack of money, especially since she is now a mother.

A therapist, Dr. Sarah Sarkis once said, "Feeling the need to be busy all the time is a trauma response and a fear-based distraction from what you'd be forced to acknowledge and feel if you slowed down"

So, what would make a young girl, leave the comfort of her home in Nigeria to travel thousands of miles by road through an unforgiving and dangerous Sahara desert, then board a dinghy boat to cross the dangerous waters of the mediterranean sea? Her story sheds light on a sad occurrence in our culture, where poor African parents have more children than they can afford to take care of, only to place the burden on the oldest child. A "Black tax" is exacted on the oldest sibling.

This young lady was unable to get employment, with her basic education, And refused to be a "Runs girl"  (In Nigeria, a "Runs Girl"  is basically a girl who sleeps with different men for money and benefits), to support her family. With financially-struggling parents, and eight siblings. And the lack of social programs and safety nets in Nigeria, she was left with no choice but to try to seek her fortune in Europe. 

She told a story of an eleven-year-old as one of the migrants in the desert, and the death of that eleven-year-old before they got to Tripoli from where they boarded the boat to cross the sea. This added to the cause of last night's insomnia. This child was, unfortunately, being smuggled by her mother to get to Italy and get into prostitution. Some of the details, I cannot even get myself to write. It is a mother's inhumanity to her child.

In Tripoli, Libya, eighty people boarded this small dinghy boat. Where they spent three days in the open sea. Calamity struck when the boat started taking in water, and they tried to bail without success. Four people drowned before luck smiled on them, and a fishing trawler came along and saved them. Then alerted the Italian authorities. One of the girls that drowned, was making the trip for the third time, having been denied crossing on previous trips.  I have read about the African migrants that cross the Mediterranean to Europe in the news, but to meet someone recounting her own experience of this ordeal was too much for me,

A decade later, she still has nightmares of the journey and being exacted a Black tax by family members. Many do not even care about how she got to Europe.

 There is a famous African proverb that says, "If you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together." This philosophy is being abused in many African communities today because many of us have been conditioned to look out for others in the family, unfortunately, some members of these families have acquired a sense of entitlement, exacting this tax without gratitude. Or an appreciation of the perils of many migrants and their stories of survival in foreign lands. This wonderful philosophy is being abused by many in our communities, from Kenya to South Africa and all along the West African coast.