FIND WHAT YOU LOVE AND LET IT KILL YOU!

 It's a little after midnight, minutes after another birthday. Another year around the sun. For most birthdays, it is another time for reflection and planning a trip. I try to gift myself a trip for each birthday. Although it has not worked in the last two years because of the pandemic. As the clock struck midnight, his words keep rumbling in my mind. 

It is a quote by Charles Bukowski "My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of all. Let it cling to your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it's much better to be killed by a lover- Falsely yours"

Each time I read this quote, I have always likened the lover to something you love, not necessarily a person.  Like what you love doing,  perhaps writing, dancing, painting, or whatever you are passionate about. You should give it your all, your soul. Because only then do you truly live. Expressing your passion is life.

Many times we go through life living other people's dreams, living up to the expectations of family, friends, and foes. And forgetting to truly live for ourselves. Live for what we are most passionate about. There are people in workplaces who are living this life, many a time just for the checks, to pay the bills, and never truly live the life they want, but the life they need.

I  recently read about Idris Elba, Do you remember him? He was once voted to be the sexiest man alive. What a joke! That any one man can be that, but apparently women love that kind of thing, so People's magazine gives the people what they want. But, I digress, Idris, a renowned actor, wants to put his acting on hold and focus on making music. 

Some folks think he's crazy for wanting to leave a lucrative acting career for music, especially when some want him to be the next James Bond!  He is so good at acting and has worn many accolades why to stop now? Then I wonder to myself,  perhaps acting is not his first love. Perhaps he is more passionate about music than acting and has for many years just kept acting because it paid the bills. 

And who says we cannot do more than one thing. Humans are talented and everyone has a gift, in fact, gifts, we just have to find out what we enjoy doing and make it pay our bills. And sometimes, there is nothing wrong with reinventing ourselves. Doing one thing for the course of our life can be boring. Or working at one job for all of eternity cannot be fun.

Jeff Bezos had a lucrative career in computer science on wall street, taking top roles in various financial firms before transitioning into the world of e-commerce and launching Amazon. Which has made him the richest man on earth.

Ava DuVernay was a journalist, then became a public relations, until much later she picked up a camera over the Christmas holidays and shot her first film and today is an award-winning filmmaker at Sundance festival. Her popular and Oscar-nominated films include Selma, 13th, A Wrinkle in Time

Martha Stewart was a full-time model before turning her passion for gourmet cooking and creative presentation into what is now known as Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia. 

Vera wang was a figure skater and journalist before turning to her other passion-Fashion. And today is a known name in the fashion industry. One of the world's prominent women designers.

Anna Mary Robertson Moses known as Grandma Moses was a housekeeper and farm laborer. She began her prolific painting career at 78. In 2006 one of her paintings sold for $1.2 million.

Joy Behar of the popular talk show "The View" although had always had the gift of gab, was a teacher and only started comedy much later in life.

Julia Child worked in advertising, media, and intelligence before writing her first cookbook at 50. Launching her career as a celebrity chef in 1961

So as I reflect on my life and the career I have been involved in for more than twenty years, I wonder if maybe it is time to do an Idris Elba. I love optometry because it gives me a chance to care for others, especially in the field of eye care where there is not enough manpower in many places. Or should reinvent myself and follow my other passions: Writing, and traveling full-time. I don't know as I debate this crossroads. Or combine the three.

Whatever I decide, I hope whoever reads this, gives more than a thought to following their passion and doing what makes them happy. "Find what you love and let it kill you."